Monday, March 31, 2008

Playoff Hockey: PMB Style

See if you can identify these two hockey players. They are both Canadian born players. Both stood 5' 10". And they were two of the most feared brawlers in the era in which they played...

If you guessed Tie Domi & Pierre-Marc Bouchard, you know your NHL enforcers. They are two of the smallest, but most feared pugilists in the NHL. Here is a video tribute to each hockey player's fighting prowess.

Oh, and the guy starting the chainsaw on McIver, Burns? He's getting to be pretty good too.

Baseball Opener

It's baseball season everybody. Here's perhaps the funniest thing baseball has contributed to society. And it has Tom Glavine in it who played junior hockey and was drafted right behind Patrick "Father of the Goon" Roy and ahead of Brett Hull & Luc Robitaille.

Tom Glavine Hockey Piece on ESPN - NHL.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Friday, March 14, 2008

Diablos vs. Ice Gators

Let's score a goal.

View Larger Map

This Week in the NHL

Remember the post "Luongo on the Wrong Meds"? The date on that post was February, 15. That was also the last time the Wild scored on a shootout. They went 0-3 last night against the Devils, 0-3 against S.J. on Sunday and 0-3 against the Thrash a week ago. Last night when they absolutely needed a score, Jacques puts Brian "Watch my Slapper" Rolston out there who missed the net. Rolston and Demitra were absolutely invisible last night. Fortunately for both of them, Doug Risebrough will most likely reward that play with a three year, nine & a half million dollar contract at the end of the season. So who will the 7 seed be playing this year?

Marty Brodeur was amazing last night. Kind of reminded me of Justin. On the second shootout attempt, Brent Burns tried to wrist one past him. Brodeur gloved it but the puck slipped out and up, so Marty caught it on the paddle. He seemed bored last night during the third. There were a few saves where he had already moved before the shot - he was that dialed in. I thought I saw him save a puck with the edge of his skate - the front edge.

Another Wyld Chyld that was invisible last night was Chris Simon - not necessarily by his doings. Michael Russo from the Strib wrote "Jacques LeMaire asked for a much more physical Simon." So after pounding Sheldon Brookbank and answering the bell against David Clarkson in the first period, Simon got a total of four more shifts including one in the third period in which one second elapsed. One second? Here's the fight.

Apparently Clarkson got five for fighting, if you want to call it that.

Steve Kelly got hurt last night - Benny Pouliot is next! I say "Bring Up Cal Clutterbuck". Great rhyming opportunities.

Elsewhere, Chris Pronger took a page from Simon's book and stomped on Ryan Kesler.

Of course, Colin Campbell took a page from his own book and didn't suspend Pronger. Perhaps Campbell was afraid that Brian Burke would remove him from his MySpace friends list. Remember, Simon got 30 games. Fortunately, the NHL may consider further review. God, I hate Pronger.

Sean Avery, another douchebag, launched some water bottles in the penalty box against Boston on Sunday.

Panger's right, another team will come up and throw 3.5 million at this ass-clown next season. Avery's response to whether the Rangers will suspend him? "They should give me community service". Uhh, Sean... you don't get to choose. Thank God for Lindsay Ruff. The next night Avery made his return to HSBC Arena and Ruff he told his tough guys to "let their emotions get the better of them".

Watch the very beginning of the clip - that's #16 getting double teamed into the boards. Of course, Colton Orr comes to Mrs. Avery's rescue and fights Andrew Peters.

Finally, the third douchebag is Jim Souhan. He shows how little he knows about hockey in this piece in Wednesday's Strib. A piece of advice, Souhan? You need to watch more than four hockey games a season in order to know enough to write about it.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Monday Update (Just Following Orders)

At the risk of having my nephew not being able to ever view this blog again, here is... Cannibal Corpse! (Sammy - go downstairs and watch Scooby Doo)

Hold on Sammy. Mommy might let you watch this video (Sam's 4) if you turn the volume down.

Oh - final comment. Could someone explain the tie-breaking procedures to the Nemesis? They must think that third period goals count for something.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Diablos 4 - Ak Bars 2

HOCKEY CITY U.S.A. - All season long, the AHA Diablos played the underdog role. They were in their first year of existence as a club with many players who were in their first or second season of adult hockey. Therefore it was a new experience to be the favorite for last Saturday night's matchup against the established and successful Ak Bars Hockey Club. The Diablos entered the game being ahead in the points standings with two games to go. A win would give the Diablos a D1 West title and a #1 seed in the upcoming playoffs.

If there was a change in circumstances, the Diablos didn't seem to be aware of it. They put together one of their best efforts of the season and defeated the Ak Bars 4 - 2. The win clinches the AHA D1 West division title by way of tiebreakers, but they can win outright next week against the Ice Gators.

The Diablos and Ak Bars were able to get the early game at Pleasant Arena which meant no fishhouse dressing rooms. The chillers were turned down to 18 degrees to firm up the sheet and after an extended warmup, the puck dropped and we were skating.

The first period scoring started at 11:07 with C - Peter Sinesio received a pass from LW - John Blasingame and threw the puck towards the net through traffic. The shot went threw the defender's leg and past the glove of goaltender Trey Cain for the first tally of the night. RW - Dean Groth was able to pick up a loose puck and was able to streak down past the Ak Bar blueliners. At 8:53 he buried the puck past Cain and the Diablos had a 2 - 0 lead.

The Ak Bars answered back early in second period with a shorthanded goal at 11:55. The rest of the second period and the beginning of the third were tense, but LW - John Driscoll slammed home a goal at 11:33 of the third to increase the lead to 3 - 1. Driscoll continued his scoring tear with his third goal in three games and D - Mike Monroe added the helper. On the ensuing faceoff, Monroe was able to push the puck up the boards to Groth who danced his way into the Ak Bar zone and slide a backhander past Cain for Groth's second tally and Monroe's second apple.

The 4 - 1 lead would hold up until the Ak Bars pulled Cain for the extra attacker. They were able to put one past Diablo's netminder Justin Alderink at 15:54, but by that time, the game was over. The Diablos controlled the puck for the rest of the game and never allowed another Ak Bar opportunity.

The Diablos kept the Ak Bars to 18 shots which is a season low for the Diablos. Justin Alderink, used to thirty to forty shots a night, managed to have fun all the while. The Diablos were able to buzz the Ak Bar net with 36 shots of their own.

Afterwards, several Diablos were able to comment on the victory. "Everyone should be proud of the way we played as a team," said Steve Nelson. "This team has come a long way since our first JMS tourney." Jarrick Losey added, "It's been a blast". Alternate Captain John Blasingame hit the nail on the head when he said, "We played a great team game ... with everyone contributing."

The Diablos have the Ice Gators next Saturday at 7:00 at the Richfield Arena. Official AHA Scoresheet - TR

Since it was a 5:30pm start, the sun was still out. Therefore, it was the afternoon.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Diablos vs. Ak Bars

Sharpen up your toe picks & practice your jumps - its back to the Pleasant Arena.

View Larger Map

Who doesn't love Dio? I mean, if they ever retired from making music, I would just curl up in a ball and die!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Keith Ballard: Pussy

Back to some hockey.


I didn't want to have to go down this road. Especially with my eyes still red over the press conference. But your envy, resentment, and spite force me to put this matter to rest.

So, Mr. Sharper & Mr. Birk, what do you think about Brett?

Oh, yeah. There was that one time when that guy who represents your franchise beat the Packers...

I'm done now. Back to hockey. (and btw... I'm having fun with everyone) Oh, and I'm working on that infectious Brett Favre Boogie.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Brett, Think of the Children!

These are the people that you're breaking the hearts of, Brett. Please come back!!

The Greatest Ever

I'll be at the game on Saturday, but right now I'm in bed, in the fetal position, wishing I could turn the clock back to 1996. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this day would come, but there was no way I could be prepared for it.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Brett Favre - Green Bay Packers 1991 - 2007

The only hockey player in the NFL.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Diablos 7 - Buccaneers 1

Diablos Breath Easy Before Final Push

GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - The Diablo Hockey Club was able to score early and often on a short Buccaneer bench and was able to defeat the Buccaneers 7 to 1 to stay atop the AHA D1 West standings.

A sheet of ice so clean that a double helping scrambled eggs could have been served upon it greeted both teams last Saturday night in an early, 7:45 pm matchup. The Diablos entered the game with a noticeable spring in their gait after a huge 1-0 victory over the Nemesis. The Buccaneers, on the other hand, were in the D1 West doghouse, winners of only one this whole season. Despite this, the Buc's had played the Diablos tough in their previous two games this season and the Diablos were not going to take the Buc's lightly.

The Diablos were able to get on the board during the first shift when C - Ted Reiff's lack of judgment paid off. Rather than heading to the bench with his mates at the end of a shift, he tracked down a loose puck and pushed deep into the Buccaneer zone. Reiff was able to sneak around the defense and deposited the biscuit in the back of the net for an unrecognized 1-0 lead.

The next goal, which was also the game winner could be perhaps the most bizarre goal of the season. Goaltender Justin Alderink had corralled a loose puck and fired it up the ice to RW - Dave Christianson to start a breakaway. The puck got away from Christianson and ended up at the other end of the ice, on Buc's goaltender Pettengill's stick. He looked to forward the puck up to his team, but his pass hit an unidentified Buc defender in the breezers and it caromed into his net for an own goal. Alderink, being the last Diablo to touch the puck got credit for the goal and had a nice little "cele" to match it.

The Buc's were soon able to find the scoreboard when K. Krmpotich's hard work paid off when her wrister got past Alderink on a breakaway. (Perhaps now she can buy a vowel.) The Diablos were able to finish off the scoring for the period, however, as Reiff and LW - Jerrick Losey were able to finish with helpers from LW - John Driscoll and D - Andy Suerth, respectively.

A 4 - 1 lead was expanded during the second period as a shameful Driscoll left the penalty box and was able to fetch a pass from D - Mike Monroe for a sweet breakaway deke that gave him a yawning net for the finish. Perhaps it was Driscoll's shakes, or his own cheering section, but an inspired D - Greg Smith had the wind blowing beneath his wings as he picked up the puck on his blue line, weaved his way through traffic, found space for a wicked wrister and potted his first goal of the season. RW - Rocco Bonello finished off the scoring with great positioning and a solid finisher off of a pass through traffic from Reiff.

The Diablos posted their highest shot count of the season with 47 shots. On the other end, they were at their stingiest by allowing only 21 shots on goaltender Alderink. Excellent pressure on the puck by the Diablo wingers kept the puck in the Buccaneer end most of the evening.

Another Saturday game awaits next week, this time against the second place Ak Bars. The Diablos have split with the Ak Bars this season and the rubber match will have large implications for the final D1 West standings. Official AHA Scoresheet.

Here are the highlights.

- TR

Saturday, March 1, 2008