Diablo Hockey

Rob Little... You're Fired!

2008-11-26T14:28:00.001-08:00

Sorry Rob but I think we've found a new coach...

Just Kidding, Rob. But couldn't you call us bitches just once?

Required Reading - Thanksgiving Edition

2008-11-25T18:58:00.000-08:00

I have made very little secret that I am a fan of John Buccigross. Although he can come across as somewhat vain, I believe his heart is in the right place when it comes to writing about hockey.

So... I believe it to be in everyone's interest to read his most recent hockey essay posted on ESPN.com. The mailbag is optional.

You'll also be able to figure out where I got the idea for the caption contest for the previous post.

Needs a Caption

2008-11-25T13:27:00.000-08:00

Here is our fearless leader doing what he does best, whatever that is. Can you come up with a better caption? Comment below. Thanks to the SlapShot blog at the New York Times.

DiabloHockey This Weekend

2008-11-22T20:17:00.001-08:00

That is the new 2008-2009 "Hell's Bells" Diablos Video. It Rocks.

The West Side of Hockeytown will be rocking Sunday night with Diablo Double Dip. The Ken Yackel West Side Arena will host the D1 Diablos vs. the Wolf Pack at 4:50 pm. At 8:10 pm the C2 Diablos will then take on the Admirals at the "Yack".

How bout a little Cannibal Corpse? Courtesy of Angry Todd. Go Figure.

Diablos D1 5 - Fighting Saints 1

2008-11-22T20:02:00.000-08:00

Eckman, Fricke Lead Diablos Over Fighting Saints

In their most impressive game to date, the D1 Diablos thoroughly dominated the Fighting Saints at both ends of the ice and secured a 5-1 victory on Sunday evening. Coming off a disappointing loss to the Royals, the Diablos made several changes to their game plan that seemed to pay big dividends.

One of the biggest changes from last week was the Diablos' commitment to the 'other side of the puck'. In the first 3 games of the season, the Diablos played very well but seemed to suffer the consequences of some very costly defensive mistakes. They seem to have finally righted the ship, however, as they managed to all but completely shut down the Saints for three periods. All three forward lines were backchecking hard all night long, and along with the stellar play of the Diablos defensemen, made it impossible for the Saints to create any offense.

The Unholy Trinity of Steinbach opened the scoring at 11:08 of the first period. Shane Steinbach, who has been snakebitten along with his brothers lately, scored his second goal of the season on the kind of beautiful passing play the Steinbachs are becoming known for.

While all 3 lines generated a number of scoring chances throughout the game, it was the Destruction Line that surprised everyone (including themselves) by exploding for 4 of the team's 5 goals. Peter Sinesio increased the Diablo lead to 2-0 about a minute later when Shawn Fricke redirected a cross-ice pass from Larry Eckman right onto his tape in the slot.

Larry “Tomahawk” Eckman, known more for being “experienced” than anything else, was exceptionally impressive in registering 2 goals and 1 assist. On his first goal, he capped off the first period scoring for the Diablos when he skillfully banked the puck into the net off of the Saints' defender in a way that only a wily veteran can. Then, in the third period, Eckman did a wonderful impression of Sidney Crosby by collecting a lead pass from LW Shawn Fricke, who won a puck battle in the defensive zone. As he skated up the ice, Eckman accelerated to an incredible speed, beat the lone Saints' defender to the outside, and then tapped the puck in the net on a beautiful rendition of the forehand-to-backhand breakaway move pioneered last season by a certain former D1 Diablo who now runs a certain Satanic hockey blog. When asked about his performance, Eckman said, "Hopefully these damn whippersnappers will finally realize that I'm not 'older' than they are...I'm just 'wiser.' OK, I guess I'm older too...but still..."

Shawn "Clutch" Fricke was also exceptional, putting up 3 points of his own (1 goal, 2 assists). He assisted on Eckman's first goal by just plain outworking the Saints down low in the offensive zone, and also scored a very pretty goal right after an offensive zone faceoff. He beat several Saints to a loose puck and fired a snapshot into a puck-sized hole between the goalie's pad and the left post at 7:56 of the second period. Fricke now leads all Diablos with 6 points in 4 games.

Late in the second period, newfound enforcer Cory Steinbach, who currently leads the D1 Diablos and the D1 East Division with 8 PIMs, got into some (undeserved) penalty trouble as the refs decided to give their whistles a workout. He would again decide to take a 2 minute break at the start of the third period, but luckily the Diablos PK unit prevented the Saints from building any real momentum. After the game, Cory declined to comment on the officiating, saying only that he felt his opinion would not be appreciated by league officials.

The Power Line of Groth, Schaefer, and Lindquist, though they were held off the official score sheet, managed to create several scoring chances that could easily have been goals while maintaining their outstanding defensive play. Dean "Machine" Groth set the example with several unbelievable backchecking efforts. All three played a very smart game and took away the Saints' time and space all night.

In fact, the Saints got so frustrated with the Power Line that they felt the need to take a run at Dean in the third period. In an effort to slow him down, one of the Saints skaters put him in the proverbial "trolley tracks" and ran him hard into the boards. It didn't work, however, and the Diablos thoroughly enjoyed the ensuing power play. Dean is just fine, and after the game said "What? Oh, I'm totally fine...I just needed to skate it off, that's all." Apparently, they don’t call him “The Machine” for nothing.

Diablos goalie Todd Latterner faced 18 shots and continued to impress with his quick reflexes and great positioning. He played well enough to earn his first shutout of the season, but was denied when the Diablos were outnumbered at the top of the crease in the third period, and the Saints managed to score off a rebound on the power play.

In all, it was a much-needed victory for the Diablos, who are now in a 3-way tie for 2nd place in the D1 East Division. They will take on the surging Wolf Pack back
at West Side arena on Sunday 11/23/08 at 4:50 PM. Catch it! Official AHA Scoresheet

By the Numbers:

-Larry Eckman, rumored to be the great-grand-uncle of goaltending legend Terry Sawchuck, has a Kovalchuk-like 4 goals in the past 4 games.

-Every D1 Diablo skater who has played in all 4 games this season has at least 1 point.

-The Diablos had a total of 48 shots on goal, 22 of which were in the third period. The Fighting Saints had only 20.

Diablos C2 7 - Bulls 3

2008-11-22T18:16:00.000-08:00

The Diablo Hockey Club C2 Team began last Sunday night's game against the Bulls playing fairly tight and not very cohesive. The Bulls were playing strong defence and their goaltending was firm. However, they blew open a tight game with four goals in the third to come away with their fourth victory in as many games.

Rob Anderson had a four point night (1g, 3a) and Ted Reiff potted a pair of goals including a shorty from Anderson which proved to be the game winner. Andy Suerth had his third tally of the season during the second and Dave Hackley, Jarrick Losey and Steve Nelson all found the back of the net. Justin Alderink saw 16 shots and stopped 13. Official AHA Scoresheet.

DiabloHockey This Weekend... Catch the Fever!

2008-11-15T06:12:00.001-08:00

For those who check out this blog for entertainment options in the Twin Cities, be sure to check out some DiabloHockey on Sunday night.

The C2 East leading Diablos take to the ice at their home-away-from-home, Biff Adams arena at 7:50 pm in a battle for first place vs. the Bulls (2-0-1-0). Can playoff hockey be played in the middle of November? If so, this matchup is as good as any.

If being caught in a prostitution sting doesn't appeal to you, then there's always a quick trip to the Yack. Ken Yackel's West Side Arena will host the D1 Diablos as they look to rebound from a stinging loss to the Royals against the familiar Fighting Saints. Puck Drops at 8:10 pm.

DiabloHockey Fever... Catch it!

Other successful hockey marketing campaigns...

D1 Diablos 2 - Royals 5

2008-11-15T06:02:00.000-08:00

D1 Diablos fall 5-2 to Royals; Global Ski Mask Shortage.

DiabloHockey Correspondent Peter Sinesio reports from Highland Arena in St. Paul

If you were planning on giving someone a ski mask for the Holidays...you might want to make other plans. It appears as though the D1 Royals, who spent months stockpiling black ski masks, large nondescript brown bags, and black clothing, managed to steal a deceptively close game by defeating the D1 Diablos by a score of 5-2.

The Satanic Underground Kingdom's Bureau of Unholy Statistics for Hockey (SUKBUSH) confirmed that this was the closest 5-2 D1 Diablo game ever played. The Diablos came out flying and played a fast paced game. Outskating their opponents from the opening draw, the Diablos took the lead thanks to the lightning quickness of the "Power Line" of Dean "Machine" Groth, Dave "War Hammer" Schaefer, and Monique "AzzKikr" Lindquist (Schaefer from Groth & Lindquist). The Power Line used their speed to create chances throughout the game, and put what seemed like a hundred shots on the Royals Goalie.

If the Power Line put a hundred shots on, then the "Unholy Trinity of Steinbach" Line must have had a thousand. The Steinbach brothers Cory, Taylor, and Shane generated scoring chance after scoring chance using their speed, skill, and sheer will to win. Unfortunately, the Royals goalie had just won the lottery, hooked up with a supermodel, managed to get free snacks from the vending machine, gotten a huge undeserved promotion at work, made millions on a simple bank error, and was generally enjoying the luckiest day of his life.

As the game wore on, the Royals would score two consecutive goals to get ahead 2-1. The Diablos answered back when the "Destruction" line of Larry "Tomahawk" Eckman, Peter "Hail Satan" Sinesio, and Shawn "Mr. Clutch" Fricke scored to tie the game at 2 in the second period. Shawn Fricke, fresh off his nickname-earning goal with 50 seconds on the clock against the Spiders, battled hard to get the puck deep in the Royals zone. Peter Sinesio managed a short pass from behind the net, and it was all Eckman needed to bury it for his 2nd goal in 3 games.

Throughout the remainder of the game, the Diablos mostly outplayed, out-skated, and outshot the Royals. They don't award points based on shots though, and the Diablos suffered a few defensive lapses late in the game to finally fall 5-2. The game was 3-2 until just the final minutes of play, when the Royals managed to score on a few of the rare breakaway chances given up by the normally stingy Diablos.

In all, it was an impressive effort for the Diablos. Despite being outscored, the Diablos outshot the Royals 35-23. In the third period alone, the Diablos controlled play by outshooting the Royals 16-4. There were several occasions when the Royals, who have mastered the art of defensively collapsing around their goalie, got hemmed in their own zone for several minutes at a time. The Diablo defensemen did a great job keeping the puck in the offensive zone, and the Royals quickly lost their energy and gave up chances. Defenseman Mike "Death Cannon" Wrobel, in his Diablo debut, impressed his new teammates with strong 2-way play and several great shots on goal.

In a rare postgame interview, one Royals player, speaking only on condition of strict anonymity, said "[The Diablos] scared the shit out of us at first". When asked for a reaction to this sentiment, the Royals goalie said, "Yeah they totally--wait..hold on....I just found $1,000 on the ground....and another $20 in my pocket.....and it looks like someone is about to give me a new Lexus, free of charge..."

The remaining Royals players could not be reached for comment. Official AHA Scoresheet.

Cal Clutterbuck is Now Utility Position Eligible

2008-11-15T05:54:00.000-08:00

Cal Clutterbuck had his first NHL fight Thursday night against a former dance partner from the AHL, Keith Yandle.

On the plus side, he did a nice job rattling Yandle's jaw with the constant lefts to the chin. On the negative side, take off the visor, Clutter. Don't drop the gloves and leave your helmet on.

Obviously, he missed that lesson at the Boogaard fight school.

DiabloHockey Fantasy League Update: Week 5

2008-11-10T03:51:00.000-08:00

Five weeks of the NHL season are behind us and one team is standing head and shoulders over the others in the DiabloHockey Fantasy League. The Peter Sinesio-led Dio squad is crushing the competition with a record of 33-9-8. This week, he shut out the hapless Puck You squad, led by John Driscoll, 9-0. Dio has 74 points, 10 points ahead of the 2nd Place team in the league, Puck Tooth.

The surprise team this season so far is the Mike Monroe led Puck Tooth team. They've firmly established themselves as the #2 team in the league yet at the beginning of the season, neophyte G.M. Monroe, could barely figure out the difference between Brad Boyes and Brad Bombadier. Good balance and solid goaltending from J.S. Giguere have set Puck Tooth firmly in the mix for the top spot in the league.

The Fighter Rule has been a success so far - Fantasy Hockey orphans like David Clarkson and Jarred Boll have found homes in the DiabloHockey league. DiabloHockey is like the United Way with regards to providing NHL fighters a warm home and three squares a day. We'd like to acknowledge each of the fighters for each team right now...
Dio - Dion Phaneuf (not necessarily in need of a good home, but opens up another roster spot for his team)
Puck Tooth - David Clarkson
SlingBlade(mmmhmm) - Ryan Malone and Jason Chimera
Unoriginal Bastards - George Parros (the 'stache)
Mojito John (mojo) - Rene Bourque
Douchbags - Adam Burish & Joe Thornton (Hey Douchbags - Thornton drops the gloves (hint hint))
Angry Bears - Jarome Iginla, Aaron Voros, Derek Boogaard, Todd Fedoruk, Brent Burns, Chris Neil & Pierre-Marc Bouchard. Add Ryan Getzlaf to the mix and you've got a team of scrappers. Unfortunately, that's only good for 7th place.
Hyphan Slayers - Jared Boll
Spider Monkeys - Cody McCloud &/or Steve Ott
Satanic Mass - Eric Godard
Mood Killers - Georges Laraque
Puck You - Milan Lucic

Goalie Notes: Roberto Luongo (Slingblade(MmmHmm)) had his third consecutive shutout by blanking the Wild on Sunday. The NHL Record is five. Recent injuries to Martin Brodeur (Spider Monkeys) and Evgeni Nabokov (Mood Killers) have meant that teams need to scramble to keep the lineup intact.

Aaron Voros and Ryan Malone squared up for the second time this season for a possible fight of the year...

Two of the three players formerly known as the Slovakian Mafia, skipped Saturday's reunion when the Wild traveled to Vancouver. Pavol Demitra and Marion Gaborik were both out with injury. The third member, Branko Radiovovich, is playing for Spartak HC in the Russian Superleague.

DiabloHockey Fantasy Hockey Tip of the Week: Set your lineup for the entire week by setting, then saving your lineup for each day. Look up top for links to each day and then set your lineup with regards to your team's schedules.

Diablos C2 4 - Eagles 2

2008-11-09T19:37:00.000-08:00

The C2 Diablo squad were able to put a solid performance on the Ken Yackel West Side sheet last night despite a plucky eagle team and an inch and a half of snow. Steve Nelson led the effort with his first Gordy Howe/AHA Hat Trick (goal, assist, roughing penalty), and Andy Suerth and Jarrick Losey were each credited with a goal and an assist apiece. Justin Alderink faced 30 shots and turned away 28. The Diablos are on top of the C2 East Standings with a perfect 3 - 0 record. Official AHA Scoresheet.

Diablos C2 5 - Renegades 2

2008-11-08T06:37:00.000-08:00

The Diablos C2 invaded Biff Adams arena again to face a familiar foe - the Renegades. (Angry) Todd Ewing and Peter VanZyl each picked up a goal and assist and Justin Alderink turned away 23 of 25. Official AHA Scoresheet.

Diablos D1 4 - Spiders D1 4

2008-11-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

A Diablo first - a regular season tie. The Diablos D1 and Spiders D1 each potted four but couldn't find the back of the net during the extra time. A power play goal by Fricke with :50 on the clock saved a point for the Diablos. Dean Groth scored his third goal of the season and C. Steinbach had a goal and an assist for his second and third point of the season.

The Official Diablo Tie Video

All members of the D1 Diablos (and most of the C2 Diablos) must watch this before taking to the ice again.

Diablos D1 4 - Wingmen 2

2008-11-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

The D1 Diablos continued where they left off last year by defeating the D1 Wingmen 4 - 2. Dean Groth tossed in a pair, but the highlight had to have been Monique Lindquist being sent off to the showers for a high sticking infraction with less than a minute to go. Official AHA Scoresheet.

Diablos C2 5 - ShameonIce 1

2008-11-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

A good first showing by the new Diablo squad in their new division. Dave Hackley had a pair of tallies and Robin Jacobs-Spaulding had a pair of helpers. Goaltender Justin Alderink stopped 26. Official AHA Scoresheet.

This Week in the NHL

2008-10-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

The Wild blew a 3-1 lead with a little over 4 minutes to go to lose in OT to Buffalo on Thursday night.

The only reason I show these highlights is because Rick Jeanneret is hands down, the best announcer in the NHL and even though the Derek Roy scores the game winner, it's an absolute joy to listen to his exuberance.

So the Wild are 4-0-0-1 and I am beyond frustrated with this squad and their management. Without going into a full blown rant, I need to voice my frustration by the absolute paucity of scoring chances. In the last two games I can't remember seeing one legitimate scoring chance. All of the goals (three in two games) were goals by M&G'ers (muck & grinders), unless you count Ryan Miller being rushed into shooting it in his own goal as a finesse goal. Jacques, ya gotta loosen up the trap and allow the boys to wheel & deal rather than toss it in.

At the beginning of the pre-season, I stated that I had some bad feelings about letting Gaby on the ice without a new contract. Unfortunately, that was too prophetic because Gaby has now had his third annual October "lower body injury" which makes it impossible to move him. Mike Russo reported that Bob Gainey and Montreal have shown interest and would possibly consider offering Chris Higgens and Ryan McDonaugh, the kid from Cretin. That's all fine and good, but there's a gap of about 5 million in cap space, so that deal is going nowhere.

Every day that Gaby remains with the team means less and less value for him. This will get uglier before it gets resolved. Read more of Russo for more info - if you can stomach it.

Poor Manny Legace. He trips on Sarah Palin's carpet before the game and strains his hip flexor. Apparently her fifteen minutes of fame aren't up.

Speaking of ugly, how about the Flyers coming into the Rock last night and throwing six past Marty? Brutal. Not to mention that the boys scored three of their own in the first period. Scary - although Brent Sutter probably saw that and told the boys that only Parise and Elias were allowed cross the blue line in the second and third periods. To make matters worse, it was Philly's first win of the season. And to make matters even more worse, it was Philly.

I love defence as much as anyone, but the only way you score goals in this league is if you're around the net. How is it possible to backcheck when you are constantly in the neutral zone?

Captain Langenbrunner left the game with a "lower body injury" and didn't return. He's going to make the bus trip to Philly tonight and see how he plays. That's cool - they take the bus on "local" road trips. I wonder if there's beer on the bus. I hope Rolston doesn't bring his guitar and lead the team in Beetles tunes.

More Politics

2008-10-25T05:57:00.001-07:00

This has absolutely nothing to do with hockey. My apologies. However it's fairly funny and I believe it appropriately encapsulates our nation's political landscape.

Diablo Dominance - The 08-09 Edition

2008-10-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

The season is on. The full schedule is up and the first games are this weekend.

The D1 Squad has their opener on Sunday at 7:40 pm against the Wingmen. They are on the big rink at Wakota Arena in South St. Paul.

The C2 Squad is opening up against ShameonIce on Sunday ten minutes later at 7:50 pm. They'll be skating at the "Big Biff" in HockeyTown, i.e. Saint Paul.

Here are links to the complete schedules. D1 Diablos C2 Diablos

By the way - we need names for our teams other than D1 and C2. How about...

D1 - The Fancy Diablos!
C2 - The Zippy Diablos!

If there are any other good suggestions, please let me know!

Hockey Night In Canada - New Theme

2008-10-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

It looks like the CBC has chosen it's new HNIC theme song. After going through hundreds of original compositions by Canadians, they finally chose this one...

Fairly bland - nothing too fancy. The song was composed by Colin Oberst, an elementary school teacher from Beaumont, Alberta. What I can't understand is the bagpipes. They may be Canadian, but they originated in Scotland and haven't we discussed how the Brits have denigrated hockey already? For Cripes Sake!

The other (better) finalist was Robert Frasier Burke, a thirteen year old from Toronto.

Either way, they both pale to the original.

And did anyone notice from both videos - the HNIC map pans out from... Minnesota. Nothing surprising there.

Frickin British Idiots

2008-10-10T18:15:00.001-07:00

I thought the whole idea of NHLRocks two nights ago was an awesome idea. A little hockey and a little 80's Hair Metal. I didn't really care for the whole Alannis Morissette deal, but hell, she's from Canada and did a kick-ass version of the anthem in Ottawa two years ago in the Cup Finals.

But Def Leppard? Way Cool. The Hockey Hair. The One-armed Drummer. Pyromania, Photograph, Hysteria, Rock of Ages, and Pour Some Sugar On Me? Classic. How can something that takes me back to Pee Wee's be wrong?

Oh, but it was. It was so wrong when this happened.

I'll let Puckdaddy take it from here...

"Def Leppard's Joe Elliott redefined the concept of embarrassment during one of their NHL Face-Off Rocks segments at the Fox Theater in Detroit. This is what you get for booking a band from England: Drive on the wrong side of the road, place the holiest of holy hockey grails on a pedestal upside down. Epic, epic fail. Even Draper's kid had the good sense to poop in the thing right-side up.

This was the proverbial slow-motion car crash; like on "The Price is Right," when a contestant is about to put the $199 price tag on the tube of toothpaste and the crowd simultaneously shrieks "NO! NO!"

You saw him turn the Stanley Cup the wrong way, and you just wanted to reach through the television and flip it back before he put it down. If only someone on stage had helped him. Why couldn't the drummer have lent a ... bit of moral support?"

Good stuff from the daddy.

I have a problem with the NHL letting any stupid idiot carry the cup, let alone kiss it. I'm 38 years old and am playing beer league hockey but I will never touch the cup because I know that if I touch it, there's still no way that I'll ever win it.

I mean, you never know.

Desparate Attempt to Hide a Scar

2008-10-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Clint Malarchuk's neck is in the news again... Do you remember this?

Apparently he was cleaning out his .22 rifle with the butt in between his feet. You can figure out the rest. Fortunately, he's on the mend and should be o.k. The (tasteless) question I have is, "Will he be able to connect one scar to the other in order to make them both less noticeable?"

Best Wishes, Clint!

Hockey Season Again

2008-10-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

There is a crispness to the air and violent emails from Todd in all of our inboxes. Yes, it's hockey season again folks.

There will be some scrimmaging going on fairly soon so mark your calenders.

- October 12, 11:30am to 1:00pm. Breck Arena vs. the C2(Luv-a-)Bulls. Bring a Dark Jersey. Some of you may need to skip church.

- October 19, 9:15pm. Parade Park (Home of the Wild's practice facilities) vs. the C2 Renegades.

Politics

2008-10-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin. No Milf jokes on this blog... Too Easy. However, when I saw her acceptance speech at the X a few weeks ago, there was a joke that I didn't get.

I didn't get the joke until I remembered this part of the movie "Garden State".

Let the NHL Season Begin

2008-10-04T17:04:00.000-07:00

Since we are starting the season in Europe this year, let's bring out the best rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner ever. This version screams kick-ass, bloody-mouth, balls-to-the-wall hockey. Ladies and Gentlemen of DiabloHockey, I present to you, Burton Cummings, best known as the lead singer and keyboard player of the Canadian born and bred band, The Guess Who.

Tears streaming from my face keep me from seeing the screen.

Reg Dunlop (1925 - 2008)

2008-09-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

A Little Tip For You Youngsters Out There

2008-09-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

I embedded a fight last season of Adam Burish for the Blackhawks and Byron Ritchie and I heard a funny story about it.

One of my brother's friends works as an attorney at Burish's dad's law firm in Madison. All of my good stories come from my brother's friends (not to say that any of you don't have any good stories, but you never tell me them).

Apparently after Burish and Ritchie sit down in the box, Ritchie asks him why he wanted to drop at the beginning of the game. Burish explained that Denis Savard got him so jacked up during the pregame and then started him. Burish told Ritchie at the face-off that he wanted to drop the mitts right there. Ritchie replied that that was dumb because he hadn't skated a shift or two yet. Ritchie told him that his legs would be dead the rest of the night. Sure enough, Burish had a horrible night, was a -1 with one shot and 12+ minutes of ice time. His legs were dead all night long.

So kids, remember that before you drop the gloves on the opening face-offs. Get some blood into your legs before it starts pouring out of your nose.

Payback is a Bitch

2008-09-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

Remember Torrey Mitchell? He's the San Jose scrub winger who charged into Kurtis Foster on a delayed icing and caused Foster to break his femur - & possibly ending his career. Well, he broke his leg today.

Now, granted, he'll only be out for two months (unlike Fozzie who will most likely miss this entire season), but I think this will be the first of many bad karma moments where Mitchell will miss games for various reasons. It reminds me of a Scrubs episode I once saw...

Catchy tune.

Holy Crap - It's Been More Than a Month!!!

2008-09-20T20:47:00.001-07:00

I just visited the blog for the first time in a while just now and I looked at the date on the last post: Aug 17th. Frickin' A - that's a whole flippin' month!?! So what's new?

- The Wild have opened camp at the Ralph (Nelson is getting sick right now).
- Gaby hasn't signed anything resembling a new contract.
- The KHL's season has started.
- Sabre's GM Darcy Regier signed an extension prompting this guy to go batshit crazy.
- St. Louis Blue's former #1 draft choice and former Holy Angels student of mine, Erik Johnson sprained his knee trying to put the brakes on a golf cart - no kidding.
- There's a new DiabloHockey fantasy hockey league. If you'd like to attend the draft, it will be at Joe Senser's in Roseville on Tuesday, Sept 23 at 8:00pm.
- Jacques Lemaire still wants to coach, but does he want his team to score?
- Mats Sundin has worn out his 15 minutes of "Shall I retire or shall I play for Vancouver". (If that was the choice, I'd retire)
- Smelts (with Nelson & Blas & the orange sock version of the Hansons) won the Div 4 AHA Summer League.
- Bucci and I are counting down the moments to when we go to the record store (I'll be heading to the Electric Fetus) and pick up Ben Folds - Way to Normal. On sale Sept 30th.

True - its no Slayer or Cannibal Corpse, but he does sing the word "blood".

Reading Between the Lines

2008-08-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

I gotta say, when Mike Russo posts, I jump. I cannot find anything on the internet that comes close to making me get all tingly as when I see that there's a new post on his blog. And yes, that includes boobs.

His post this morning and his subsequent piece is good stuff. (I'm sure that I'm not the only one who finds the irony in that statement) Make sure you read that first before you go on.

I've been reading Russo's blog since day one and the insight he brings is unheard of. However he is also handcuffed by the fact that his access comes because both the management and players trust him absolutely. He cannot be too frank with his information and he cannot hypothesize about meaning and intention.

Therefore, I declare that it is Diablohockey's duty as hockey bloggers to take the honorable Mr. Russo's information and read between the lines as any two-bit hack is able to do. This is done from a purely unbiased standpoint. Let's break it down.

(Italics are Russo's printed stuff)

OK, I’m back in the Twin Cities. Almost one month until training camp starts.

"Geez I miss Florida already. Time to get out the flannel shirts. As soon as it hits 72, I'm flying back."

I talked to assistant GM Tom Lynn yesterday and here’s a story on management’s meeting with Marian Gaborik in Slovakia.

"Where the boring information for the folks that still have dial up is."

Unfortunately, Gaborik’s voice isn’t in the story, although, trust me, I’ve tried to get him and his agent for weeks. So keep in mind, this is one side.

"No Love from Trencin. What is that all about? What is the temperature in central Slovakia in late August? I might need to fly out when I get too cold. Anyways, this is a bad sign. Usually I can get an email. Even when Brian Rolston was bailing out of Minny, he still texted me."

But Lynn said at no point in the meeting did Gaborik tell the Wild he wanted to move on.

"Of course, Lynn mentioned that Gaborik said he'd rather be caught in a MSP airport bathroom tapping toes with Larry Craig than spend another season playing for Jacques Lemaire."

If he did, I think the Wild would let that be known simply to prepare its fan base that a trade is coming. At the end of the day, who knows if the Wild will be able to get Gaborik signed, but as of now, the Wild at least believes it’ll be able to sign him.

"Wait - but I just did prepare the fan base that a trade could be coming. Darn it, that crafty Tom Lynn. He's always getting me to say something in the blog that I wasn't meaning to. At least he hasn't done this to me...

You can bet that one giant part of this meeting had to do with questions from Gaborik about the team’s inability to land a big free agent this summer and its inability to make a meaningful trade deadline acquisition the last two seasons.

"And more questions from Gaborik about the lack of quality Slovakian restaurants in Saint Paul. I mean, how can a city have a Kurdish restaurant and nothing from Slovakia? Unfortunately, Gabby's not the brightest bulb. That was also evident in his lack of grasp of the most recent collective bargaining agreement. He kept asking Lynn if Pavel Datsyuk or Hank Zetterberg were available."

This is from Russo's aforementioned piece in Sunday's Strib.

Gaborik could not be reached to comment, but Lynn called it a "great dinner and meeting."

Lynn's words: "A great dinner because I had Wild Side catering send a slab of the leftover roast horse they sell to the stooges up on the club level and a great meeting because Gabby smiled when I told him a joke about the horse, a priest and a hooker."

"We showed him a lot more info than any player has ever seen before -- how we scout, how we measure players statistically," Lynn said. "We also listened to his opinions.

Lynn's words: "I'll listen to his opinions even though Jacques doesn't give a sh!t about them. At least I'm pretending that I'll be able to convey Gabby's wish to skate in the neutral zone during the penalty kill."

"We just talked about the team, how we operate and where we are going, and then his performance and place in the future. So I would say it was a good meeting in that (a) it happened, and (b) Marian had good input, observations and understanding."

Lynn's words: "I'm thankful it happened because I wasn't sure when that customs agent in Bratislava was going to let me have my Blackberry back. Oh, and in regards to (b), did you know that Gabby wants me to figure out a way to break Hank Zetterberg's contract with Detroit and then resign him here for 2.5 million a year? Apparently, this Tishchenko fella from Spartuk, Moscow said he knew a way. Crazy, I know."

One objective for Risebrough and Lynn was to prove to Gaborik he's not being impeded from scoring in Minnesota's defensive-minded system.

Lynn's words: "Did you know that before I started working for the Wild, I was a magician?"

"Mmmmm... I still think I can get him to think he'll score here."

Another HOK Sport Arena

2008-08-15T04:22:00.000-07:00

Pittsburgh just broke ground on their new arena yesterday (8/13). They also placed a video of renditions and flyovers on their website.

Remind you of anything? What if the Xcel Energy Center (designed by HOK Sport) had hypothetical sex with the new Twins Stadium (also designed by HOK Sport) and had a bastard arena child? This style of arena looks like it might be the new Three Rivers Stadium / Riverfront Stadium / Atlanta Fulton County Stadium / Busch Stadium clone that made going to a ballgame in the 70's akin to visiting Roswell.

Another similarity? James Mirtle's blog comments on how Mario Lemieux and Co. dangled the idea of moving to Las Vegas or Kansas City in order to scare the officials in Pittsburgh to speed up the pace of paying for a new arena. Hmmm... where do you think they learned that? Norm Green? Nah - how bout the Pohlad boys?

Xcel Energy Center Dismemberment: Week Three.

Nice Rigging.

This Just Ain't Right

2008-08-06T07:02:00.001-07:00

What are they doing to my X???

It's not that I don't like Republicans (actually I don't, but I live two miles from the X so I'm going to have to figure out a way), but there should be ice on the floor surrounded by dashers and glass.

I would have a lot easier time accepting this if McCain were to skate during his acceptance.

Oh - and I gotta say - love the mid-90's porn music!

One other Wild note - Puck Daddy has a chat with the Wild's Director of Hockey Operations, Chris Snow, calling him the "Theo Epstein of the NHL". Excuse me, Mr. Daddy, but we consider Theo Epstein as the "Chris Snow of MLB".

In the piece, P.Daddy refers to a rumor about Gaborik as "asinine". The good news - he wasn't referring to this blog!!! Apparently, having one somewhat reputable source is better than no sources at all.

Crosstown Traffic

2008-08-06T05:24:00.000-07:00

Wow - in the past four days we've almost doubled the traffic we've accumulated in all of last year. After asking around a little, I found out that the Gabby's a Goner post was linked to by Greg Wyshynski at PuckDaddy (a oft-visited site by DiabloHockey) and also forwarded by HockeyFutures.com. Muy gracias go to Greg and ranold26 at HFBoards.

So if you're new here, you might be asking yourself, "What kind of blog is this?". That's a question that is often echoed in the DiabloHockey newsroom. Here is a brief history and explanation of Diablohockey.blogspot.com.

The Diablo's Hockey Club is a group of guys - at least half of them cops - that play hockey together in the Adult Hockey Association based out of the Twin Cities. We formed last year and played in the D1 level. After a practice or two, I (ballgame) suggested that we put together a website that would cover our team and rather than put it on a cookie cutter type website, I figured we could blog it and link up to the stats and schedule page at AHA. After some discussions about style and what type of videos everyone liked, we went live.

The early days had recaps and the occasional holiday tiding. Perhaps, out of boredom, there would be the random video with no explanation. All the while, the Diablos began to play good hockey and climbed their way from fourth to first in the division. And while that was exciting, there was too much hockey not to be commenting on throughout the week - so we branched out to cover our favorite teams, the Wild and the Devils, and made the occasional comments about hockey in general. A lot of the time, the topics would blend together in the same post.

A few more links to some favorite posts...
Tiger, have you met Ryan Malone?
There is an overtime system in the AHA, but we did manage one one tie vs. the Ak Bars.
A Scrimmage vs. the AHA Lumberjacks.
Okay... Melrose.
Nelson said What?

Without YouTube, this might be the most boring site around.

So for all you die-hard hockey crazed maniacs, this site might be a nice diversion. We're not too hard-core, and we like to mix it up a little. Thanks for stopping by and come back often.

Oh, yeah - for the first year of existence, the Diablo Hockey Club finished second out of 14 teams and is expanding to two teams next year.

Minnesota Wild 08-09 Promo

2008-08-05T16:51:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite YouTube Channels, ALittleProduction, has a new video previewing the Wild's upcoming season. Chills.

Let's see, what do I love about this video?

1. The Music
2. The Carved Wild Logo on the locker room doors.
3. I never get sick of the little kid with the flag.
4. Butch to Mikko for the wrister which was his payback goal against the 'nuks.
5. Burns. Toedrag.
6. Gabby doing the "Superman" after his breakaway vs. Nashville with :03 on the clock.
7. Skoula's Eruzione impersonation.
8. The Butch dustup vs. Vancouver.
9. The Koivu Shoutout vs. Vancouver.

Hmm... why do most of these moments occur vs. Vancouver?

Mysteries of the World: Solved - Part I

2008-08-05T04:12:00.001-07:00

The WKRP in Cincinnati closing credit song lyrics.

Many thanks to sewerewes.

Branko's New Gig

2008-08-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

Branko Radivojevic's new team is Spartak Moscow in the new KHL Superleague in Russia. Spartak finished in the middle of the Russian Superliga last season with 21 wins in 57 games. In the same article that was mentioned in yesterday's post, Branko spoke with Sports Express about his new team and his old.

A couple of quotes...

On his new team...
- (The) option with "Spartak" has been very good. In Russia, I came because I hope to get much playing time here.

On his knee (Branko ruptured his ACL in Game Two of the Playoffs vs. Colorado)...
- At the end of the season at Minnesota, I postponed the operation on the broken (ligament). I now feel fine. Another couple of weeks - and fully restored.

On his former team, the Wild (the question leading up to the statement: "Your former club - Minnesota - for its defensive style in general, few loves...")
- Yes, because it is (smiles). In the two years that I spent there, we all just on defence and thought.

I'm not saying that its sour grapes, but sounds kind of similar to what's been coming out of Mark Parrish's mouth the last couple of days.

I also understand that the respected Mr. Tishchenko, may not be the most reliable source of information and it's not like there was more than one source on the last post. However, the story out of Spartuk is another piece of information which has me feeling that Gaborik is pretty much out of Minny and I think that stinks. This franchise has given everything that Mr. Gaborik has asked for over the past eight seasons with the exception of allowing him to skate circles in the neutral zone while his teammates are trying to clear the puck (yep - I'm pretty sure he asked for that). They even gave him the "C" for cripes sake.

Until he's out of town, I'm going to have a bad feeling about this season. I hope I'm wrong.

I hope I'm wrong.

UPDATE... Those boys at ESPN.com/hockey have really been getting to work. They've ranked the top 75 fantasy hockey players for this season. One, Ovie. Two, Sid. Three, Marty. I could go on, but coming in at #23, Gabby.

Where in the world does #23 = $8.5 million? Minnesota, maybe. Of course, if he's dealt to Pittsburg (Eklund thinks the Pens will pay 9.0 mil, with Buffalo & Washington interested - but that' s Eklund he's hit or miss at best) his fantasy ranking will improve significantly.

Gabby's A Goner

2008-08-03T04:01:00.000-07:00

According to the New York Times Hockey Blog, Slap Shot, Marian Gaborik's agent, Ron Salcer (or more likely a European representative) approached the Russian Superleague team Spartak Moscow with an inquiry about playing there this coming season. This would be another wrinkle in the League-Jumping Story which has been weaving in and out of the July free agent signing events, but more importantly, it shows how much Gabby wants out of Minnesota and how he'll be gone after his contract is up after this season.

It appears that Gabby's agent approached Spartak's preisdent, Nikoli Tishchenko about signing a contract with the club and forgoing his final year at Minnesota. In an interview with the Russian "Sports Express" newspaper Tishchenko claims "His agents were interested to speak with our club..." but the salary offer was "simply astronomical sum. Some people naively believe that all clubs in Russia are willing to pay huge money." It would make sense that Gabby would inquire with Spartak since that's where his buddy Branko Radivojevic landed after last season. Its not known whether Gabby knew how tight they were with the pursestrings.

Gaborik testing the KHL Super League waters is another incident between the KHL and NHL as they battle for the top players. The KHL was formed this summer as a new league from many older Russian hockey clubs. Eurohockey.net ranked the top 250 European teams and the KHL had six of the top ten. With an infusion of "new" Russian money, from oil and gas revenues to new millionaires to (quite likely) organized crime, they've been able to throw big contracts towards NHL'er trying to lure them over the Atlantic. Jaromir Jagr signed a two year, $25 million contract with Avangard Omsk. Ray Emery, Kyle Wanvig, and Wade Dubielewicz have also made their way over.

The problem has been that many players from both leagues have disregarded their current contract in order to play for the league overseas. In the NHL, Nashville forward Alexander Radulov has jumped town to sign a contract with Salivat Yulaev Ufa when he still has terms remaining on his U.S. contract. On the other hand, a bevy of young talent has pulled up the tent stakes on their KHF contract in order to play in the NHL, including Sergei's little brother Fyoder Fedorov, and the Wild's Tomas Mojzis. The I.I.H.F. has been called in to resolve any conflicts, but it seems as if these two leagues will be battling for supremacy for some time. That could mean problems for the NHL when their new agreement with the players has a strict salary cap and the KHL will be throwing large bags of cash at their best players.

This is just another sign that says Gabby has no plans of staying in Minnesota long term. Risebrough should be ready to sign Gabby this summer or be ready to trade him away. If #10 hits the ice this season without a long term contract in his back pocket, it would signify another failing on Doug Risebrough's tenure in Minnesota and perhaps his most significant of all.

Since Gabby will make $7.5 million this season, not a lot of teams will be interested in him. Additionally, I'm sure a few G.M.'s in the league are willing to to cede the Cup to Detroit now that they have all of the pieces plus Marian Hossa. If anyone wants to compete with Detroit, they would definately be interested in Gabby, but 7.5 mil for one season could be a lot for a player whose heart for the game is questionable.

Colton Gilles is going to be a Stud!!!

2008-08-01T10:06:00.001-07:00

Last year's first round pick of the Wild, Colton Gilles, has been impressing the masses at the Canadian World Junior Development Camp. From IllegalCurve.com -

From Michael Russo of the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

Heard from TSN/NBC analyst Pierre McGuire yesterday. Pierre was at Canada’s world junior development camp in Ottawa, and he reports Colton Gillies, who won gold with the Canadian world junior team last year, “looked great. Looked bigger, and faster than last season. He has huge upside.”

Still, Gillies has a shot at making the Wild next season, and if he does, it’s unlikely the Wild would release him for world juniors. But we’ll see.

Read more from Russo’s Rants here.

By all accounts, Gillies is going to be a terrific young player. I’m sure the Wild is hoping that he forces their hand this training camp and makes the team’s roster.

I plan on cherrypicking all of the blogs that cherrypick from all of the top hockey blogs in North America. This will be the best cherrypicking blog in all of North America.

New Hockey Anthem

2008-07-31T11:40:00.000-07:00

I don't want to take away from my most previous post - because the m.f.er took a while to write - but PuckDaddy threw this up on his blog and it's a pretty cool hockey anthem.

From PuckDaddy -

"Face Off" by Sean Chapin is a different kind of animal. It's a synth-pounding original song about hockey. It sounds very much like what Kenny Loggins would have written for a 1987 action/comedy about two FBI agents (Judge Reinhold and Judd Nelson) who go undercover with the Hartford Whalers (coached by Robert Urich, who we find out is really CIA right before the big gun fight at the end).

Nailed it.

Ranting about the Rants

2008-07-31T04:49:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know that I am a sometimes contributer to Russo's Rants, Michael Russo's blog over on startribune.com. I used to be a regular over when it started (my moniker = "ballgame"). Russo would post and a few of us, Bandgeek, toivu, smuggla, kj, Greenstar, and the mayor of Russoville, Nick in New York, to name a few, would open shop. We would go back and forth with strong opinions, witty banter, and the occasional beer or Star Wars reference (for a week, Pierre-Marc Bouchard was called "Leia"). However, like most things I become part of, the blog became kinda a big deal.

Nowadays the blog will host hundreds of comments on a single post. There have been posts during games that collect five or six hundred comments. Having a voice on the Russoville blog has become diminished. Add to that, the Strib's crack IT staff can't keep up with all of the posts and have had significant technical problems throughout the explosion. Posters would double post, lose their post or worse yet, be called a "Cowboy". Making a solid contribution to the blog is pretty much resigned to some one who is willing to sit next to their computer all day - not something I'd rather do. I mean, its not like I have a job right now, but I'd rather be shooting wristers at beer cans with my kids.

I always read Russo's stuff and once in a while, when I've got some strong feelings about something, I'll post. Yesterday, during the Mark Parrish aftermath, there was a thread bemoaning the lack of Minnesota boys on the team. Most of the Russoville townies love all hockey and would like Minnesota fellas to play for the Wild, but they understand that that in this day and age, that may not always be possible. However there is a significant minority that believe that Minnesota Hockey trumps all things which, I believe by reading the voracity of their posts, includes their jobs, their mothers, and Minnesota girls.

Many posts on the thread explained their feelings of why they didn't need a Minnesota hockey player on the Wild in order to like the team. There was also a strong contingent that strongly disagreed. They were passionate about their Minnesota hockey and needed a Minnesota hockey player on the Wild. I, for the life of me, cannot understand that line of thinking, but I thought I had an original thought that I would express.

Good topic today (and yesterday) - I’ll chime in…

Does anyone else agree with me that a lot of our boys are Minnesotans, albeit transplants? I’m from Wisconsin, myself, which may color my view, but I feel I am more a Minnesotan every day. I’m a transplant.

Burnsy, Koivu, Gabby, Boogey, Shultzy, Shep. They’re all local guys. They’re part of Minnesota hockey, whether they were born here or not & whether they played in the high school tourney or for the Gophs, or not.

Now don’t get me wrong - I’m counting down the days when Zach Parise’s RFA status is up, but because he’s a stud who happens to be from Bloomington, not because he’s from Bloomington.

There were some replies to the post - mainly positive until some guy named "Good Old Wally" called me out.

BALLGAME

You being a transplant is not the same thing. I am speaking of the stregth of the hockey program locally. I think it is safe to assume that we Minnesotans have pride in our home grown talent ? no doubt… A father takes his son to a game, and with out a doubt will mention to his son that the Wild have a homegrown player on the roster

I dont think it is wise to have no homegrown talent on a pro team in Minnesota, in Nashville sure !

Yes the Wild have players who live here during the season and leave to go back home during the summer, but that is not the same thing. THOSE PLAYERS ARE NOT PRODUCTS OF MINNESOTA HOCKEY. SO IF THE MINNESOTA PRO TEAM DOES NOT HAVE ANY PRO PLAYERS FROM MINNESOTA, THAT IS A SLAP IN THE FACE ? no doubt. I cant see how anybody cant see the point

Minnesota hockey = Passion and Passion is not wise for the Wilds front office to mess with…. Is it a pain in the ass ? Maybe… So live with it and do something about I say. Leopold bought the team in Minnesota and should know that Minnesotans have a passion for the hockey products here

I am sure that the Wilds brass will say they dont care about where the players are from and they will likely take a hard ass response, but I say that they are full of bull and in denial. If your in Nashville then you dont care.

DR in the back of his mind tried to meet the needs of the local fans by..

Mark Parrish
AJ Thelen
Maybe Sean Hill

Great move
Darby Hendrickson

All of those moves turned sour. If I look at the make up of this team, Jason Blake looks to be a no brainer for this roster

Bottom line DR … YOU HAVE A PR PROBLEM !! This in not Nashville

Is it me or does this guy think he's Jacque Lemaire? It reads like he's from Quebec and the "no doubt" is a dead givaway. Perhaps he's a big listener of KFAN.

A guy named "Beaver" (cripes I hope its not a gal) piggybacked...

Good Post Good Old Wally ! I agree its not wise to run with no Minnesotans. The Minnesota Hockey passion has much more history then the Wild do…. Were happy for the Wild for letting youth hockey sell the cute little programs before the games.. What does that make $ 200 bucks per association

Finally, a third member of the "Good Ole' Minnesota Boys Network", Mister Know it All, had his say...

Gentleman,

I must applaud GOW and the Beaver. I as Mister Know it all agree 100%. The Wild have failed miserably since Darby Hendrickson. AJ Thelen is an example of the DR mindset…. oh it must be the pressure of the local kid making it… please no excuses anymore DR. How can you use the local kid pressure with AJ ? The kid got kicked off of the Michigan state hockey program for cripes sake

DR- I think it would be foolish do blame you for your effort with getting Mark Parrish in Minnesota. Who could have seen that coming

How about a great big HRRUMMPHH!!! One of those guys had to be either Pat Reusse or Sid Hartman.

Since I was called out by GOW, I figured I'd respond. Being the well thought out blogger that I am, I soon began to craft a response. After a few paragraphs and fifteen minutes later, the IT folks at startribune.com failed me again by refreshing the post and losing my Polk worthy response.

My first thought was to start over, but the whole time I was wishing that there was a place for me to sound off where I wouldn't lose my post half the time and have more of an impact than a fart in a windstorm. Then I thought... why not use the World Famous, DiabloHockey Platform. This is the place where I will shout it from the mountaintop. I'm not sure if the world is ready for me to teach them about hockey, but they did handle Ninja Parades and a rant about Tiger Wood's vagina.

So Look Out, North American Hockey Purists. You're about to get some DiabloHockey knowledge cracked over your head. And if it doesn't work out, I can always delete this post and act as if nothing happened.

End of July Update

2008-07-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

Hockey, Hockey, Hockey - All things Hockey.

Jarick isn't the only superstar working out this summer. Some of the Russian NHL'ers are working out in St. Petersburg, Russia and they are looking old-school. Read about it here. Check out the tan lines on Malkin's (upper) thigh.

It's good that Malkin and Ovechkin are working out since last season this happened.

Elk River native, Dan Hinote, was able to shed his status as "NHL's most eligible bachelor (who plays for St. Louis)" by marrying Playboy's CyberGirl of some month (does it matter?), Amy McCarthy. Yes, she is the sister of Jenny McCarthy. They were married in Keystone, CO & the groomsman across from sister Jenny? Peter Forsberg. Apparently, he fell down halfway through the procession.

There are two hockey blogs that have gone through a bit of a change for the better. Third Jersey information can be found at icethetics.blogspot.com & Illegal Curve is raking over the hockey blogs with information, and has a great interview by my mentor and facebook friend, Michael Russo of the Star Tribune and more famously, Russo's Rants.

**Addition** - ESPN still thinks they cover hockey. Therefore, their one hockey employee who isn't named Buccigross, Scott Burnside, put together a August Power Rankings. Mmmm. If I had to guess, I'd say Detroit in the West and Pittsburgh in the East. Unfortunately, both the Wild and the Devils drop. Wild slide to ninth considering they lost Rolston and Demitra but picked up Owen Who??!!? Devils slide two to sixth which means they'll most likely win the division. The three new DiabloHockey teams to watch fared better: Washington (e5), Tampa Bay (e8) and Chicago (w6) look to improve.

Farewell Former Captain Grumpy. It's been bittersweet.

Jarick Losey's Dryland Training

2008-07-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

This is Jarrick working on his speed technique.

This Week in Onion News

2008-07-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Lil' Sid

2008-07-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

Diablo Hockey's Election Guide 2008

2008-07-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

We here at Diablo Hockey want to be more than just your access point for all things hockey. This blog has become the home for so many Diablo Hockey fans, but has also become one of the top sites for all North American hockey information. However, we believe that it is our responsibility to serve our fanbase with pertinent information that goes beyond our great game. We believe that this blog is a way for us to reach out to the community at large.

Here is our first foray into the community service we wish, nay - we crave to provide.

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Sh!t About The Election

Happy Independence Day from the Diablos

2008-07-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

Bittersweet from the Pens.

Also - greatest speech in the history of western civilization.

Goosebumps.

UFA Signings - Day One Recap

2008-07-02T04:43:00.000-07:00

Welcome Back, Bruno.

The Wild also traded away college uber-star, Ryan Jones to Nashville for an (gasp!) offensive minded defenseman, Marek Zidlicky. They also signed Craig Weller (??) to a two year, $1.2M contract. (UPDATE - YouTube video of Craig Weller being badass.) Look for the Wild to make moves for at least one more guy with most signs pointing to Calgary wing Kristian Huselius, but also possibly Sean Avery or Brendan Morrison. Huselius was kicked off of the Swedish national team for "allegedly" raping a 22 year old woman in 2005. (I'm sure that everyone who damned Risebrough for signing Chris Simon will continue their outrage if the Wild signs Huselius. What, you don't think so? Me, neither.)

Brian Rolston, as expected, vanished - although in a pleasant surprise, was signed by Diablo Hockey's second team, the Devils. The Devils also resigned Jay Pandolfo and brought back Bobby Holik from Atlanta. Rolston is 34 and signed a 4 year $20 million dollar deal while Holik is 37 and signed for 1 year and $2.5M. Sensing a trend, I was able to get a hold of Devils GM, Lou Lamorillo last night and inquired about signing John Driscoll. Lamorillo wasn't interested until I told him that JD just turned 40. Lou's listening now! JD's been offered 2 years at $1.4M, but I'm holding out for at least $2.5.

Aaron Voros signed with the Rangers and Todd Fedoruk signed for 3 years (3 years?!?) with Phoenix. Whoa, that Wayne Gretzky really knows how to build a team!

Back to Bruno - nice to have him back, but more interesting was Risebrough commenting that it was nice to be able to "correct a mistake". Mmmm... which mistake are you referring to Dougie? A.J. Thelen? Benoit Pouliot? Kyle Wanvig? Alexandre Daigle? Roman Voloshenko?

The following is a list of notable players drafted after A.J. Thelen(12) with the overall draft position in parenthesis.

Drew Stafford(13), Alexander Radulov(15), Travis Zajac(20), Wojtek Wolski(21), Andrej Meszaros(23), Mike Green(29), Chris Bourque(33), Brandon Dubinsky(60), Alex Goligoski(61), Johan Franzen(97).

Other notable signings - Rangers sign Wade Redden and re-sign Rozsival, Columbus signs Mike Commodore, Washington signs Jose Theodore, Chicago signs Cristobal Huet and Brian Campbell for 8 years and $56 million (bust - Campbell's soft and will get pounded because he'll have a huge target on his back. In the meantime, I'm getting Wild / Blackhawk tickets as soon as they come out).

And finally, since guys like Eric Godard, Matt Cooke, Georges Laraque, and Jeff Finger have left or are leaving the Northwest conference, it's tough to really bring the hate to the X night in and night out. Fortunately, the Avalanche signed former Maple Leaf, Darcy Tucker, who's hated by everyone in the Northeast (Adams?) Conference, and that includes most of the Maple Leaf fans.

The Zen of Melrose

2008-06-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

Highlights of 13 years of Mullet on ESPN.

Mullet being interviewed by former partner, Steve Levy.

The Diablos will be keeping an eye on the Lightning next season, for sure.

Okay... Melrose.

2008-06-24T04:27:00.000-07:00

Barry Melrose will be named the head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning this morning. The 51 year old former ESPN analyst and Saskatchewan native will be named in a press conference this morning in order to replace the deposed John Tortorella.

Melrose played over three hundred games, splitting time between Winnipeg, Toronto and Detroit between 1979 and 1987 and amassed 728 penalty minutes. He won the Memorial Cup with Medicine Hat in his first season as a head coach and led the Los Angeles Kings to the Stanley Cup Finals by coaching some guy named Wayne Gretzky. He is also a major movie star with his newest film appearance in "The Love Guru" where he plays the main love interest of Jessica Alba.

In an unusual move, the new Tampa Bay ownership released video of the selection process which resulted in Melrose's hiring. The other candidates, Brian Engbloom, Tony Espisito, Bill Clement, and Melrose were evaluated by Vincent Lecavilier.

Star Wars at the Science Museum of Minnesota

2008-06-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

I went to the new Star Wars exhibit at the Science Museum in St. Paul and took this video. WTF???

Happy Father's Day from the Diablos

2008-06-14T16:55:00.001-07:00

Happy Father's Day from a bunch of muthers...

Here's a list of the 12 Worst Father's Day Gifts.

Hopefully you don't receive a treadmill - not that most of you guys don't need it.

Hockey News of the Day

2008-06-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

Lots of little hockey updates - none of which have to do with opening night of the AHA Summer Season.

The Wild traded a third round draft choice to Anaheim for defenseman Marc-Andre Bergeron. Let the offseason season of free agency, trades, and drafts begin!!! Here's the poop from Russo.

The "Dominator" has left the building. Dominik Hasek retired yesterday and should be elected to the Hall of Fame in about a week or so. He doesn't have as many rings as Marty or Roy, but has the Vezina's. Here is a good video from TSN.

Speaking of TSN, their parent company CTV in Canada purchased the rights to Canada's Second National Anthem, the Hockey Night in Canada theme song (which used to be Diablo Theme Song on your Right - copyright infringement). There was talk that the song was going to be shelved because the song's owner was pissed with the CBC. TSN owns the rights in perpetuity which means they will play the song for every show from now until the end of time.

Someone else agrees with me about Tiger Woods.

Fozzie's Coming Around... Kurtis Foster got a write up on Wild.com about his recovery. Good Luck Fozzie.

Another Wild player who had a devastating injury, Branko Radivojevic will be rehabbing his knee Rocky style because he signed a contract to play in the Russian Premier League. Great f'ing movie.

The Avalanche's are dipping in the Minnesota well again as they pick up former Roseville Raider and Hobey Baker winner Marty Sertich.

Finally, the NHL entry draft is right around the corner and the obvious #1 pick for the Tampa Bay Lightning is Steven Stamkos. Wanna see some sick moves?

Don't forget that the NHL awards will be given out Thursday night. That's it from the DiabloHockey newsdesk.

Stanley Cup Finals: Broken Down a Little at a Time...

2008-06-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

so that the season doesn't end so abruptly.

Here's a tribute to the Conn Smyth Trophy winner, Hank Zetterberg.

This is so awful that its tasty. Like Zamboni fumes.

Also, a required read from the Slap Shot blog put on by the New York Times. If you watched the last seconds of game six, you'll know exactly what they're writing about. Tick...Tick...Tick...

Stanley Cup Finals: Game Six Preview

2008-06-04T05:21:00.000-07:00

Jarkko Ruttu's contributions to yesterday morning's game are documented by the fine folks at Knob Hockey.

I would pay big money to walk inside the ropes with a Tiger / Ruttu twosome.

diablohockey.blogspot.com - your leader in occasional hockey coverage.

Tiger, Have You Met Ryan Malone?

2008-06-03T10:43:00.000-07:00

Poor Tiger Woods. He's been injured for a month now with a broken something or other. Perhaps its his vagina. He, for some reason or not, cannot play a full round of golf without his va-jay-jay hurting. I write this as my 68 year old neighbor is driving into his driveway after playing a full round this morning.

So what does Tiger do yesterday? He has a press conference, presumably called to discuss his snapper. When a reporter opened up the questions with a fairly harmless, "Wings or Pens?", here's what he said...

"I don't really care," Woods replied. "I don't think anybody really watches hockey any more, do they?"

Tiger, have you met Ryan Malone?

This occurred with 1:21 to go in the second period. Malone immediately went to the lockerroom. So you'd think he'd be done for the evening, Tiger? That's a pretty wicked injury - much worse than a stinky bajingo, huh?

Nope. Malone started the next period. He looked like twelve miles of bad road and had cotton coming out of one nostril, but he went back out and smiled. He played like he had a mouthful of bees - hitting Wings, laying down in front of shots, and creating the traffic in front of the net which helped Petr Sykora net the game winner in the third OT. His expression afterwards is why the Diablos play the game.

More from Tiger's favorite paper, the Beaver County Times - Malone's Heart Was Not Injured.

Epic!!!

2008-06-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

Petr Sykora scored a power play wrister at butt-crack thirty in the morning to bring on Game 6. Hockey Lives For One More Night!!!

Pens / Wings Game 4 Preview

2008-06-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

Tomas Holmstrom will be back in the lineup and the Cup will be in the building as the Red Wings will try to hold off the Penguins to complete the series. Let's go to the guys at Knob Hockey for an in depth look at the keys to the game.

Fleury ought to try putting googly eyes on Holmstrom's jersey.

If You're Scared of Plants...

2008-05-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

Diablo Season in Review

2008-05-29T08:25:00.001-07:00

Sarah Suerth took a bunch of pictures and made this kick-ass video.

Thanks Sarah.

Nelson went to Vegas

2008-05-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

While the Diablo Hockey Club was gritting out a third place finish at the USA Hockey National Recreational Hockey Championships, Steve Nelson was scouting out possible team watering holes. He found a possible site in Vegas.

What a douchebag.

USA Out at the World Championships

2008-05-15T03:10:00.000-07:00

In what could be called "Deja Vu all over again", the young USA hockey squad lost in the quarterfinals of the IIHF World Championships for the fourth straight year last night in a 3-2 overtime loss to Finland.

The team's average age was around 23 or 24, but they played fairly well during the qualifying rounds - they never got beat by more than one. Last night, they were down 2-0 with six minutes to play in the third but cracked two past Nick Backstrom within a minute. I normally like it when he keeps goals out. USA had a chance to finish it in overtime when Bloomington, MN native Zach Parise got the puck on his tape at point blank but his wrister went inches wide. Finland scored about a minute later and it's tee time for our boys.

The final four teams will play on Friday in Quebec City - Canada vs. Sweden & Russia vs. Finland. More info can be found at iihf.com or usahockey.com.

Fire Up with Cannibal Corpse

2008-05-13T21:39:00.000-07:00

Those guys can swing!

Todd 2.0

2008-05-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hopefully after the tournament, J.D. can help Todd upgrade his computer software.

USA Hockey National D1 Championships

2008-05-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

Here is the schedule for this weekend. All games are at the Schwan Super Rink in Blaine, MN.

Friday, May 16. Diablos vs. Nemesis 7:45 pm Rink 4.
Saturday, May 17. Diablos vs. Royals 10:45 pm Rink 4.
Saturday, May 17. Diablos vs. Fighting Saints 5:45 pm Rink 2.

View Larger Map

Minnesota Mullets: Nelson a Close Second

2008-04-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

Brady Arneson is this year's winner of the 2008 Minnesota Mullet competition, however Diablo centreman Steve Nelson represented by narrowly missing out on the honor. The fact that Brady was wearing a North Dakota jersey did leave a bitter taste in Nelly's mouth, but fortunately Nelson averted a significant meltdown at the Hasting Eagle's Club and was escorted out peacefully. Read more from the Red Wing Republican Eagle. Great Job Brady!

Congrats Ovie! Moving up to the Big Time

2008-04-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team

Playoff Preview - Detroit vs. Colorado

2008-04-23T14:58:00.000-07:00

Update 4/24 @ 2:35 pm: Apparently I'm not the only person fired up for this series. Wings-Avs: Blood feud is getting renewal, by John Niyo from the Detroit News. Can't wait to read the Kizla rebuttal.

One of the best rivalries of the "new" NHL.

Some history: During the 96 Cup Playoffs, Claude Lemeiux from Colorado clobbered Kris Draper into the boards. Similar to Steph Veilleux's hit on Stastny during game four of the last series except Draper's head was crushed.

I couldn't find a video with only the hit - it's in the middle of this sequence - although you can see the style of Lemieux.

Colorado ended up winning the game and went on to win the Cup. After the series, Dino Ciccerelli (no stranger to thuggery) said "I can't believe I shook the guy's friggin' hand".

The next year they played four times. The first three were without incident, but the fourth and final game had a certain chippiness to it. When Peter Forsberg and Igor Larionov began a fight, Darren McCarty took the opportunity to settle the Draper score with Lemieux.

Here's the whole brawl.

McCarty ended up scoring the game winner in OT. Quite the night.

The Red Wings came together as a team and ended up winning the Cup in 1997. The next season, in their first regular season game, McCarty and Lemieux dropped the gloves on the first puck drop and settled the previous season's score. Lemieux didn't turtle this time.

The feud didn't die after that. Patrick Roy fought Chris Osgood on the following April 1st and almost fought Dominic Hasek five years later in 2002.

Disclaimer - used a lot of Wikipedia for this research.

New Diablos Playoff Team Needed

2008-04-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

Although this will always be a pro-Wild and pro-Devils blog they're both out of the playoffs. Therefore this blog needs a new team. Unfortunately, the Caps just lost in OT, otherwise, I think the Caps would have been a good fit. Why? Ovie is outstanding and just plain fun to watch, but I think the best reason to cheer for the Caps is the fact that they've got an owner who's a dead ringer for a cleaned up Ron Jeremy.

Ted Leonsis & The King of Porn

If you have a suggestion, try to use the comments to discuss. Apparently only Todd, Jarick, and some guy named Slag know how to use them (unless Slag is Todd's alias)

Happy Earth Day from the Diablos

2008-04-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Doesn't Helium make a hole in the ozone? Thank you, Lionel.

Wild Out in Six; Devils in Five

2008-04-20T17:56:00.001-07:00

Well, another utterly disappointing playoff performance has been submitted by the Wild and the Devils. Here is some video.

Wild 1 - Avalanche 2

2008-04-20T05:34:00.000-07:00

Too many questions... not enough answers.

Game 6 Preview - Schultz In

2008-04-19T13:15:00.001-07:00

Here's a little email conversation I had with Michael Russo from the StarTribune today...

6:40 am

Michael,

For the love of God and all that's holy...

Show Gabby the Ranger's video, or the Nashville OT winner, or Calgary's 3 goal game (with one waved off). If you're afraid of crossing the line, forward this email to Branko or Rammer or some one.

I'm desperate. Something's gotta be done.

Ted Reiff

11:40 am

Ted

I wrote about it today. Ironically, I have the room across the hall from gaborik...i jokingly told him he could borrow my laptop

Here's the write up. I hadn't read it until later today. I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but before the Rangers game, Gabby was watching Pavel Bure highlights and then before the Nashville game, Russo showed him his five goal performance against the Rangers.

Also, Russo's reporting (on the blog) that Nick Schultz is playing tonight.

Look for Nick “Willis Reed” Schultz to play tonight.

Are you playing? “I think so.”

Funny story, the second he said that, he was called into a one-minute meeting with GM Doug Risebrough, who clearly told him, “Don’t tell the media.”

Too late. It was on the blog by the time he got back. The rest of the interview Schultz, whose missed the series thus far following an appendectomy only 12 days ago, was throwing in caveats, like if I play, etc, but he’s in.

Devils 3 - Rangers 5

2008-04-19T13:14:00.001-07:00

More Wild Bitching

2008-04-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

Here are some Wild quotes to back up what I said in the previous post. If you're sitting within proximity of a little girl, let her read them to you so you can get the full context.

"We had energy, I would say, up until the point where they scored," center Eric Belanger said.

"We had played such a good game," center Pavol Demitra said. "We had so many shots. We just needed one goal, and it just wasn't there."

And this one sounds like its coming from a camp counselor. You know the hippy chick from Camp WannaHavaFunTime! who was always so cheerful that you wanted to strangle her by her hippy necklace?... Oh, that was just me? O.K.

"We've been coming from behind this whole series," Brian Rolston said. "It would be nice to get up, it would be nice to play with a lead. Our effort was awesome tonight. We feel very proud of our effort tonight. Nobody will be hanging their head here. We'll be ready in Colorado."

That quote screams Tuesday morning tee time.

I think I know the answer for the Wild.

They need Todd on the bench and a couple of videos of the Death Mutant Jesus Killers or whatever before the game. Sure Pierre-Marc Bouchard will be a quivering heap on the locker room floor, but if that's what it takes.

Wild 2 - Avalanche 3 (No OT)

2008-04-18T05:26:00.000-07:00

The Wild outshot the Avalanche last night, but not enough of the pucks got behind Jose Theodore. 40-17 were the shots. Theodore was very good, but...

The Wild controlled every aspect for the game for the first two periods, but when it came down to it, they never really got a good shot off. Theodore was seeing the puck extremely well and the Wild never really got a shot off that had a chance of getting by him. Backstrom was good too - the three goals that were scored on him were on outstanding shots. The only way either team was going to score on either goalie was through the backdoor. So let's look at the first three goals.

(0 - 1) On the power play, Brunette parks his ass in front of Backstrom and when Foppa throws one out front, Bruno backhands the deflection past Backstrom who's ass over teakettle in the blue paint. Pretty much a carbon copy of his other two goals (both of which started the scoring in the previous two games).

(1 - 1) Wild power play and the boys are working it around the perimeter. Burns gets the puck on the left dot after a rebound (not many of those last night) off of a Rolston shot. He thought shot, but heard Butch who's on the opposite dot. The Av's are all collapsing on Burnsy's shot and leave a lane to Butch. Cross-ice pass, backdoor shot, goal.

(1 - 2) Colorado power play on a horrible penalty taken by Hill. Liles on the blueline cross-ice's a pass to Wolski on the top of the right dot who one-time's it for the goal. Backstrom almost got all the way across the crease, but Wolski put it in a tight hole. Can't really call it an aimed shot, but the fact that it was another backdoor shot gave it as good a chance to go in as anything else thrown towards the net.

Each one of these goals were not examples of the shooter beating the goalie, but the shooter getting open with some open net in front of him. Nothing surprising, but ask yourself..."How many more times did the Wild try to go backdoor?" There wasn't a lot of passes across the slot - many of them blocked by the Av's. Gaborik got a rebound that he juggled before backhanding it into Theodore's leg pads and Burns pinched to get a cross-ice pass, but Theodore was able to get in front and block it. I'm not sure whether the Av's Defense and Theodore were able to cut down on the opportunities or the Wild weren't either aggressive or creative enough around the net. Either way, Theodore saw 38 shots last night, missed one, and I'm not sure he cared enough on Rolston's goal.

My theory is this. All throughout this franchise's history, they've played the underdog. They've been the darlings of St. Paul with their moxie and grit and whatever. They came and replaced the beloved North Stars. Their hometown hero scored the first goal ever at the X. They made an improbable Cup run in '03. They went toe to toe with the eventual Cup Champs last year and took a chunk out of them in Game 4 before Brad May "disgracefully" punched out our "non-fighting" Kim Johnnson. The entire franchise history is filled with David vs. Goliath stories.

The only problem is Goliath always wins the Cup. Every team that wins the Stanley Cup plays the bully. Even the lower seeded teams (Edmonton in '06, Anaheim in '03) that make it to the Finals take control of the games with stifling defense and opportunistic offense. They win games by moxie, grit, and a spit in your face / piss on your grave attitude that is lacking in our boys.

It shows in how they play. Last year during game four against Anaheim, when the Wild absolutely needed a win, Mark Parrish played as if he had a nest of fire ants in his breezers. He didn't score any goals in that game, but was all over the frickin' place creating chaos in his wake. The third and fourth goals by Gaborik and Rolston were goals that were the result of chaos. They weren't pretty, but they were the result of relentless pressure and advantageous positioning. When was the last time this team was relentless in anything?

A good period of playoff hockey cannot be: "We got a lot of good looks and good shots". It has to be: "We put the puck in the net". This team needs to forget the underdog role and play the favorite, because they are the favorite. They need to be the bully, not the pipsqueek. This ain't the movies - they need to be the Biff and not the Marty McFly; the Galactic Empire and not the Rebel Alliance; the Jason Vorhees and not the six 105 pound teenage actresses with 42 inch chests. They need to be Exxon and not Joe Six Pack. They are the better team and everyone knows it. But the better team doesn't move on - the team that scores more goals does.

Devils 3 - Rangers 4

2008-04-17T04:55:00.000-07:00

I believe it was the Red Hot Chili Peppers who so adequately said:

"GivitawayGivitawayGivitaway-blah"

Zach Parise let the puck slip off his stick to Fedor Tyutin who's slapper was tipped in by Chris Drury for goal #3. Then with 3 minutes to play, Patty Elias was trying to clear and ran into Colin White (who also ran into Marty during game one leading to a goal). The puck slid over to Straka who passed it to Staal who slapped in the winner.

Frick.

And then traitor Gomer knocks the faceoff into the Devils empty net for a pretty cool goal. I miss him so bad it hurts.

Back to the Prudential Center for Game 5 on Friday for a 7:30pm game.

Wild 1 - Avalanche 5

2008-04-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

Holy Crap.

For the life of me, I don't know how to approach this one. First off, I slept through almost the entire game. My internet connection wasn't getting good coverage of the game and so I dozed off soon after the puck dropped - of course an aftereffect of watching all of Game 3. I woke up briefly after the first, checked the score on my phone, and when I saw 0-3 Av's, and knowing that the Wild are not capable as a Calgary-like comeback, I passed out for good.

After digesting highlights and various write-ups (Startribune, Russo's Blog, DenverPost (hacks), CBC, ESPN, TSN, Hockeyfights.com), I figured I would chime in with my own commentary with assistance from the late, great Herb Brooks.

Those guys looked like a bunch of monkeys humping a football.

Game 5 tomorrow night at the X. Let's hope that between now and 8:00pm tomorrow they each have a solid bowel movement and man up.

By the way, there are way too many videos on YouTube of monkey's humping all sorts of things, but I couldn't find one of a monkey and a football - not that I would have posted it, because this blog has certain lines it will not cross. So instead of a monkey, here's a turtle.

Wild 3 - Avalanche 2 (OT)

2008-04-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Butch,

Hey Man, Nice Shot.

Sincerely,

The Diablos

For some good and bad commentary of last night's game, read...

Tom Powers - Pioneer Press "A Little Less Respect..."
Mark Kizla - Denver Post "Ugly Betty Hockey..."

Kizla's email is mkizla@denverpost.com. Feel free to fill his inbox with spam.

Conn Smythe Frontrunners

2008-04-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

1. Brian Rolston.
2. ??????

Why There's Hope

2008-04-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Here's why there is hope for the Devils. From the Newark Star-Ledger:

Why did the Rangers dominate the Devils during the regular season and in the first two games of this series?

According to Sutter, there wasn't enough hate from the Devils.

"I never really saw the rivalry with these two teams until Game 2 (of the playoffs)," Sutter said. "It's been a concern of mine. Let's just put it this way: Rivalries are supposed to be heated battles. They're like wars. We hadn't had a game like that until Game 2.

"Maybe some people disagree. That's the reason why we only won one game this year. It's not that they're so much better than we are."

Sutter said the change occurred because the Devils shifted into desperation mode.

"We always disliked the Rangers but we decided we were giving them a lot of respect. Too much. We have to start hating them more," Devils winger Zach Parise said.

"We know it's a rivalry. We weren't going out and dropping gloves every shift, by any means. But I think it really took a turn in the last game. It went to a new level, I thought. There was a sense of disliking your opponent."

A cross-check to the teeth from Rangers defenseman Christian Backman certainly helped raise the hate level for Parise.

"It makes you a little more ticked off. I wasn't happy about it," Parise said. "Whether or not you lose teeth, it was a cross-check in the face. It's going to be your nose or your teeth. Unfortunately it was my teeth."

Backman's Stick to Parise's Mouth.

Last night, Mike Rupp showed some of that hate.

Devils 4 - Rangers 3 (OT)

2008-04-14T04:05:00.000-07:00

Dear John Madden,

Thanks. You have shown us that sometimes you have to throw the puck on the goal & hope for the best.

Sincerely,

The Diablos

Dear Devils Power Play,

Nine minutes twenty six of time, eight opportunities, three shots, two goals. Minor improvement, but still... it's improvement.

Sincerely,

The Diablos

Dear Avery,

What's your fuckin' deal? Do you have any shame?

Screw off,

The Diablos

Wild 3 - Avalanche 2 (OT)

2008-04-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Mikko Koivu,

You are a Warrior.

Sincerely,

The Diablos

Dear Martin Skoula,

You're alright. We like you.

Sincerely

The Diablos

Dear Keith Carney,

You Magnificent Bastard.

Sincerely,

The Diablo Geezers (anyone older than 35)

Devils 1 - Rangers 2

2008-04-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Sean Avery,

You're a bitch.

To the Devils: honestly, how the hell do you think you're going to score when you have five power plays and only four shots?

Sincerely,

The Diablos

Diablos Announce Free Agent Signing

2008-04-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

ST. PAUL, MN - The Diablos Hockey Club, fresh off of qualifying for the USA Hockey Nationals in Blaine MN, has made a few roster additions to cover for roster vacancies over the weekend of May 16-18. In one of the more surprising moves of the season, the Diablos signed Otto the Hockey Playing Bear from the Finnish B League to a 21 day contract.

"We saw his stats and his tryout video and were impressed," said Pat Quinn, Diablos European Scouting Consultant from his winter home in the south of France. "I had heard of his talents, but after seeing his video, I knew he would be a good fit with the skaters on the Diablos".

Here is the video Quinn is referring to.

"I'm glad we were able to sign him first, because the Toronto Maple Leafs were about to present a serious offer", Quinn quipped.

Otto will be flown in via FedEx on April 26th and will reside at the Como Zoo when not training with the Diablos.

Devils 1 - Rangers 4

2008-04-10T07:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Marty,

Next time, please cover it up.

Sincerely,

The Diablos Plumbers
(and Justin Alderink)

Wild 2 - Avalanche 3 (OT)

2008-04-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Slovakian Mafia,

It's called backchecking, boys. Sometimes you have to force yourselves to do some things that don't come naturally to you. That's why the Cup changes everything (or least it does for some guys).

Sincerely,

The Diablos Plumbers
(and Stephane Veilleux)

Stanley Cup Playoffs: The Mullet Speaks

2008-04-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

Here's hoping for a Wild / Devils Stanley Cup Finals. Barry, what do you think?

AHA D1 Championship: Diablos 0 - Nemesis 2

2008-04-08T07:44:00.001-07:00

BLOOMINGTON, MN - Suddenly, the Diablo's unthinkable run to the D1 championship ran into a wall Sunday afternoon as the Diablos fell to the Nemesis 0-2. Under the leadership of Captain Todd Ewing and alternates, John Blasingame and John Driscoll, the Diablos Hockey Club posted an outstanding 18 win, 5 loss, 1 tie record, but the Nemesis threw the clamps on and kept the Diablos off the scoreboard for their last AHA game. Considering every obstacle that the Diablos overcame, the fact that they made the championship run was amazing. Killing penalties, and scoring a power play goal in the second period was the Nemesis secret to upending the 'Blos.

In the end, the Diablos only put 16 shots on the Nemesis goaltender, not enough to sustain a comeback. The Diablos put up a good fight, however were unable to put enough good plays together to defeat the Nemesis.

Official AHA Scoresheet - TR

AHA Playoffs Recap - D1 Pool 2

2008-04-08T07:12:00.000-07:00

Diablos 3 - Renegades 2

ST. LOUIS PARK, MN - The Diablos Hockey Club gutted out a 3-2 win against their first D1 East opponent of the season, the Renegades. The Diablos had faced the Renegades earlier in the season with a pre-season scrimmage and knew that there were some good skaters and tough hockey players wearing Renegade sweaters. With some solid defense and some opportunistic scoring plays, the Diablos were able to wear down the 'gades.

Ted Reiff provided the scoring with his first Diablo hat trick. John Blasingame set up Reiff on two of the tallys and Dean Groth helped on one. The game winner was an unassisted shorty at the end of the second period. The Diablos threw a vice around the neutral zone and their own defensive end during the third period and finished the game by stifling a 6 on 5 when the Renegades pulled their goalie. Goaltender Justin Alderink made 30 saves in the win.

Official AHA Scoresheet - TR

Diablos 7 - Fighting Piranha's 2

ST. LOUIS PARK, MN - The Diablo Hockey Club cinched a number one seed by completing their D1 Pool 2 schedule with a 7-2 win against the D1 East Piranha's. The Diablos fell behind early 2-1, but it was quickly remedied with some quick scoring in the second and relentless pressure during the third.

Dave Christenson, Jarick Losey, Dean Groth, Peter Sinesio, John Driscoll(2), and Ted Reiff had goals while Larry Eckman, Monique Lindquist, Andy Suerth(2), Reiff, John Blasingame, Christenson, and Groth recorded helpers.

Official AHA Scoresheet - TR

Diablos 7 - Renegades 0

BLOOMINGTON, MN - The Diablo Hockey Club has traveled a long way as a hockey team this season and now, not only do they have the hardware show for it, but they will need to travel a little further as they have secured a bid for the National Championships by winning the D1 Pool 2 Championship. In a rematch against the Renegades, the Diablo's struck early and often and defeated them 7-0.

Ted Reiff, Steve Nelson, Rocco Bonello, Andy Suerth, Jarick Losey, Dave Christenson, and Ryan Carroll each tallied a goal apiece and Bonello, John Driscoll(2), Nelson, Dean Groth, Todd Ewing(2) and Monique Lindquist each assisted. Justin Alderink was money with the shutout tossing away 18 shots.

Official AHA Scoresheet - TR

The Blaine, MN Chamber of Commerce's worst nightmares have come true. The Diablos have received a bid to play in the National Championships at the Schwan's Super Rink. Arrangements are being made at the Blaine Super 8 Motel to fill the outdoor pool with cow's blood. Let the mayhem continue!

One Set of Playoffs Done...

2008-04-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

And another one begins.

AHA Playoff recaps are coming - your contributions are always welcome. In the meantime, LET'S GO WILD!!!

If you are interested in knowing the true recap message of the Diablo's loss to the Nemesis, combine the first letters of each sentence in each paragraph and add the last word in italics. Let me know if you figured out the code.

Diablos 3 - Renegades 2

2008-04-04T21:52:00.001-07:00

Updated 4/7/08 - Different Video.

Sleepy...

Eyes... are... murble... closing... skargle...

Recap... later...

Official AHA Scoresheet - TR

Best Playoff Beard

2008-04-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

Vote for one on your right.

Bret Hedican

Mike Commodore

Scott Niedermayer

Danny Briere

Peter Sinesio

Hockey Night in St. Paul

2008-04-04T05:28:00.000-07:00

Gabby scored #41 & #42 (and was robbed of #43), Jacques Lemaire won #500, and Jack Hillen played #1.

Marian Gaborik was an absolute animal last night scoring three, having one taken away, and had an assist to a deft looking Todd Fedoruk and the Minnesota Wild, for the first time in franchise history, has won the Northwest Conference. Congratulations to the hometown club!

Gotta love Fridge doing the toothless Hambone.

In addition to what was already a special night, head coach Jacques Lemaire won his 500th game, being the eleventh coach in the NHL to do so. Congratulations to the hometown coach!

"Urry up I gotta go pee."

Finally, Minnetonka native, Holy Angels alum and state championship winner, Jack Hillen laced them up for his first NHL game last night.

Diablo's - Ak Bars Metaphorical Highlight Video

2008-04-03T08:44:00.001-07:00

Whether you're a Diablo or an Ak Bar, Ice Gator or Nemesis, F. Piranha or Renegade, watching this video will give you the same feelings you experienced last night. A little excitement and some marvel yet at the same time, disgust and a good amount of outrage.

Warning... just like a tie, you will feel the need to cleanse yourself after watching.

Diablo's 2 - Ak Bars 2

2008-04-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

PLYMOUTH MN, The immortal Alabama football coach, Bear Bryant, once described playing to a tie like "kissing your sister". If that's true, there was a lot of sisterly love in the opening round of the D1 playoffs last night as three of the four matchups ended in ties. The Diablo's and Ak Bars did their part in skating to a hard fought 2 - 2 tie.

The Ak Bars came out and out-skated the Diablo's in the first period, but it was a Dean Groth wrist shot low and away that put the Diablos on the board first. Ted Reiff got credit for the assist. However, as quickly as the Diablos got on the board, the Ak Bars scored the equalizer and the go ahead goal on successive shifts. Both D. Bannister and K. Nelson scored from their blueline, :23 apart to take a lead that would hold through two periods.

The Diablo's seemed to be slow of foot in the first period, but picked up the pace in the second and the third. Jarrick Losey notched the pace up even further when he collected a puck in his own end and skated it up. With grace, poise, and the speed of a thoroughbred, he weaved his way past the Ak Bar blue line. He shoulder-shimmied the Ak Bar defender which provided just enough space to unleash his cobra-like wrist shot through the closing space between the defenders and over the glove of Ak Bar goaltender T. Cain. If a prettier goal was scored last night, this reporter did not see it. With that goal, Losey is one third of the way to riding the bull.

The score remained tied throughout the third. The Diablo's found their legs and buzzed the Ak Bar goal, but couldn't convert any chances. The Diablo's were able to shoot 22 pucks on Cain, while goaltender Justin Alderink saw 25 and discarded 23.

The Diablo's will continue their improbable playoff run with a Friday night game against the D1 East Renegades on the west sheet at St. Louis Park. The Puck Drops at 6:00. Official AHA Scoresheet - TR

The One That Started The Mayhem

2008-04-02T07:26:00.002-07:00

Generating Good Karma. The first Diablos Video.

2008-04-02T07:26:00.001-07:00

Game Day

2008-04-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

2008 AHA Playoffs

2008-04-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

Shorthanded.

2008 AHA Playoffs

2008-04-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

Tighter.

Playoff Hockey: PMB Style

2008-03-31T11:55:00.000-07:00

See if you can identify these two hockey players. They are both Canadian born players. Both stood 5' 10". And they were two of the most feared brawlers in the era in which they played...

If you guessed Tie Domi & Pierre-Marc Bouchard, you know your NHL enforcers. They are two of the smallest, but most feared pugilists in the NHL. Here is a video tribute to each hockey player's fighting prowess.

Oh, and the guy starting the chainsaw on McIver, Burns? He's getting to be pretty good too.